🚨🚨🚨 ATTENTION ALL BEHAVIOR TECHS. DROP YOUR COFFEE. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. 🚨🚨🚨 🌪️🦸‍♂️ A CASE HAS APPEARED. THE PROPHECY IS REAL. 🦸‍♀️🌪️ Scientists (we asked one) confirm this is the most exciting case in the history of cases. 🔬 📍 WHERE: Putnam Valley, NY 10579 🗺️ 🏠 SETTING: In-home 🕘 WHEN: Mornings, 9 AM to 2 PM ☀️ (yes, you can be asleep for the entire evening shift) 📆 HOW MUCH: 25 hours per week 💰 PAY: So good your wallet might need therapy to process it 👶 MEET YOUR NEW BEST FRIEND/NEMESIS/CHAOS GOBLIN: 🎂 Age: 4 years old 🧑 Gender: Male 🗣️ Language: English-speaking, and he will use it. At length. ☕ 🧑‍⚕️ YOUR BCBA: Supporting you virtually. Supportive, responsible, and basically your professional guardian angel, just through a screen. 😇💻 🤪 YOU MIGHT BE THE ONE IF: ✅ You’ve stayed calm while a small human explained why socks are a lie ✅ You can turn “NO!” into “okay, fine, let’s do it” faster than a magician pulls a rabbit 🐇🎩 ✅ You believe data collection is a love language 📊❤️ ✅ You have snacks, stickers, and the unshakeable confidence of a gladiator 🏛️ ✅ Your poker face could win in Vegas 🃏 🎁 PERKS: 💎 Real impact on a real kid’s life 🛡️ Backed by LBAPS National 🌅 Mornings on the job, afternoons all yours 🎢 Stories for every family dinner for the next 10 years 🏆 Bragging rights. Legendary ones. ⏳ Cases like this vanish faster than pizza at a staff meeting. 🍕💨 📲 TO APPLY: WhatsApp me NOW with your resume, availability, and hourly pay expectation. 🚀 Destiny called. It left a voicemail. It said “25 hours a week.” ☎️🔥